The Anxious–Avoidant Dance Workshop
This coaching workshop led by Tehilla Luttig, LMHC is for individuals and couples looking to better understand the dynamics driving their relationship issues. The workshop will take place Friday, September 25 from noon-1:15 ET.
The anxious avoidant dynamic is also called the pursuer-distancer dynamic, and it may be familiar to you even if you've never named it directly. The anxiously attached (also called preoccupied) partner wants to talk. The avoidantly attached partner needs space. Somehow you both end up feeling more alone than when the conversation started.
That's the anxious-avoidant dance, and neither of you designed it.
A text goes unanswered and your mind fills in the blanks. Are they angry? Are we okay? Did I do something?
Or you're the one who goes quiet. Not because you don't care, but because you feel cornered, flooded, certain that nothing you say will help.
The fight starts over a tone of voice and becomes a fight about whether one of you cares enough.
In this 75-minute session, we look at what's actually happening underneath the pursuing and the withdrawing. What drives each response, the fear sitting under it, and how two reasonable attempts to feel safe end up setting each other off.
We'll also cover a pairing that gets misread more than most: anxious men with avoidant women, and the extra layer of shame that shows up when the pattern runs opposite to what people expect.
You don't need to know your attachment style. You don't need to decide who's the problem.
The goal isn't to win the pursue-withdraw dance. It's to stop needing to dance it.
After a 60 minute presentation, Tehilla will open the virtual floor to questions from participants. She is known and loved by her clients for her warm and insightful approach to relationship issues. Make use of this seminar to learn more about your relationship and think deeply about what you and your partner each contribute to the frustrations that you may feel.
The cost of the workshop is $40, whether you sign up as an individual or a couple. This is coaching group, NOT therapy, so cannot be reimbursed by, or even submitted to, insurance. Anyone from any state or country can attend. Email info@bestlifebehavioralhealth.com or use the form below to sign up.